Let’s break the term expectations.
A few years ago, I realized how deeply I was caught up in this idea of expecting too much from others. At first, I couldn’t understand why. But when I looked back, I found the answer in one of the most special bonds of my life.
Let me take you back to my school days.
We were a group of three, me, one girl named Kirti, and one boy named Moin. Our little trio was everything. We didn’t need anyone else because the three of us were enough. What we shared wasn’t just friendship, it was a safe space where we laughed, cared, and grew together.
Among us, Moin was the shy one. He hardly spoke much, but honestly, he was the charm of our school. Everyone knew him, admired him, and liked his simplicity. But for me and Kirti, he was more than just a schoolmate, he was nahh is family.
Sadly, it has been more than ten years since Moin left us. He passed away in a car accident. Even today, I sometimes find myself shouting his name, forgetting for a moment that he is no longer here. But do you know why I still feel this way? Because of the expectations he built in me not, through words, but through his actions.
And you know what hurts the most? We never had even a single picture together. But his face is still perfectly fitted in my mind, as if he never left.
Moin was the kind of person who noticed the smallest things. He quietly observed whom we spoke to, and if he sensed someone’s wrong intention, he would step in to protect us. He never let me walk on the side of the road where vehicles passed. He avoided using anything sharp near me so that I wouldn’t get hurt. And most importantly, he never allowed me to cry in front of him.
He wasn’t just protective of me, he was equally caring towards Kirti. For us, he was not just a friend but our shield, our safe zone. He respected and loved my parents even more than I did sometimes. What touched me the most was how my own brother liked him, something very rare when it comes to a girl’s male friend. That acceptance itself shows the purity of our bond.
And to be clear—this wasn’t about being boyfriend or girlfriend. We were just kids in 9th or 10th grade. At that age, friendship was innocent, without the so-called “gulu-lulu” feelings people assume. Moin was simply someone who showed us what true care and genuine protection looked like.
This is where my expectations were born.
When someone cares for me, I naturally feel they should be like him. I assume they won’t hurt me, won’t let me down, won’t make me cry. Because that’s what Moin taught me, without even trying. But as life moved on, I realized something very different.
No one is Moin.
I kept searching for that same level of selfless care in others, friends, colleagues, relationships, but no one matched. It was disappointing at first. I felt hurt whenever someone I trusted didn’t meet those silent expectations. Over time, I began to understand the truth: people are not the same. Everyone has their own way of expressing care, their own limits, their own battles.
That realization was both painful and liberating. Painful because I knew I would never experience the same bond again. Liberating because I accepted that I was holding others to a standard they never promised to meet.
Now, whenever someone asks me, “Why do you expect so much from others?” I smile and answer, because once, I had a friend named Moin. A friend who showed me what real care feels like. A friend who proved that friendship could be as strong as family.
I miss him every single day. But his presence, even in memory, has shaped the way I see relationships. He raised the bar, yes, but he also taught me something even bigger: care is rare, and when you find it, cherish it.
Expectations vs. reality will always remain a tug of war. But maybe the lesson is not to lower our expectations, nor to live in disappointment, but to understand that some people are once-in-a-lifetime gifts. Moin was mine. And that’s why, even today, he continues to influence how I see every bond in my life.
And this, this whole story - is the answer for everyone who once asked me why I was expecting too much from people.
-Moni🌹
